BILOXI, MS — Local man Matthew Timmons decided to invite a couple from church over for dinner in a clever ploy to get his wife Amy to clean the house.
"Amy could never bear for company to see our house like this," explained Mr. Timmons. "That's when I realized I was just one dinner invitation to the Bennetts away from a free house cleaning."
As the dishes and laundry piled higher in the Timmons' household over the past week, the home turned into a high-stakes game of chicken. "I was never going to crack," said Mr. Timmons. "So long as the trash can lid still closes, it's not mine to take out. There were times I had to literally stand in the trash can to pack it all down, but I was committed. It was Amy's turn to take it out, and that law is unbreakable."
Upon hearing of the dinner invitation, Mrs. Timmons knew she was beaten. "Unlike my husband, I am unfortunately still capable of experiencing shame at the state of my home," said Mrs. Timmons. "This isn't the end of this battle though. Mark my words!"
At publishing time, Mr. Timmons had come from work to find the house clean and a karaoke machine installed, as Mrs. Timmons had told the Bennetts that Matthew was a massive fan of karaoke.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
