TEXHOMA, TX — Democratic lawmakers who fled the state to disrupt a vote on a new congressional redistricting map could soon find themselves out of a job, as Governor Greg Abbott announced the construction of a giant northern border wall designed to keep them out permanently.
Abbott issued a statement declaring that while any Democrat who did not show up to vote on the new redistricting map was vacating their seat, he would also be building a wall to prevent them from re-entering the state.
"You all can just stay up there in Oklahoma," Abbott said. "I just wanted them to come back and get to work, but then I realized them leaving was the best thing they could have ever done. We realized we can just build this wall to keep them out."
Since the politicians in question are U.S. citizens, Abbott cannot legally keep them out of the state, but he can make things difficult. That's why he authorized the reallocation of some of the materials used to construct the wall along the state's southern border to be used along its border with Oklahoma. Democrats will now be forced to enter through designated checkpoints that slow their progress.
"We may choose to allow them to come back, but they must do so legally," said Abbott. "Any of them found on our side of the wall will be swiftly deported back to Oklahoma."
At publishing time, some of the exiled Democratic Party lawmakers were reportedly hiring black-market coyotes to lead them across the northern border of Texas.
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