Panic Erupts On Flight As Captain Of Female Crew Announces That 'Everything's Fine'
U.S. · Mar 5, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. — A scene of desperation and panic unfolded on a Delta Airlines flight after the captain of the all-female flight crew announced over the intercom that everything was fine.

"Sure, just go on doing whatever you want back there. It's fine," said Captain Savannah Ross with a sigh. "Why wouldn't it be fine?"

The cabin immediately broke into a cacophony of shrieks and prayers, with passengers desperately trying to message loved ones to say goodbye. "We keep asking, but they won't say what's wrong," said Danny Evans, who had managed to reach his wife's phone. "Whatever it is, it must be really bad. We're in trouble, babe."

Passengers continued begging the crew to know what was the matter, but were met with the silent treatment. At last, the Captain returned to the intercom only to say, "You wouldn't understand" — setting off a fresh wave of hysteria.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

BIG NEWS: We made a movie, and you can watch the trailer NOW:

Click here to find out how you can watch the movie when it releases on October 11

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now