TULSA, OK — Local child Stephen Reese became deeply worried during church this morning after hearing there is a bomb located somewhere in Gilead.
"Shouldn't we do something?" worried Stephen, anxiously looking around the congregation. "Why is everyone so calm??"
The church service had started innocuously enough, with Stephen receiving a popsicle stick as a "take-home" from a less-than-memorable children's sermon. Then, out of nowhere, the song leader stood up and suddenly proclaimed that, "There is a bomb in Gilead!" Stephen gasped in horror. The grown-ups around him seemed to be in a state of total shock. They stared blankly back at the song leader, and then began half-heartedly repeating over and over that there was, in fact, a bomb in Gilead.
With his little sister of no use, Stephen clambered across her and grabbed his father's pants leg. "This is awful! Do something, Dad!" he pleaded. To Stephen's dismay, his father merely shrugged and responded, "Sorry bud, there's nothing I can do. The song leader chose this." Stephen stared in disgust as the song-leading terrorist continued standing calmly at the front of the congregation, smiling with bizarre delight.
At publishing time, Stephen was again disturbed as the song leader followed the news about the bomb with a call for the congregation to "sing all hell to Jesus' name."
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