New 'X-Men' Movie Expected To Flop As They Went Woke And Made Storm Black

Entertainment · Aug 17, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
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U.S. — Entertainment industry insiders predicted that the upcoming Marvel Studios X-Men reboot would flop after the producers chose to go woke and make the character "Storm" an African-American woman.

Critics believed that the absurdity of casting a black woman to play Storm would keep fans from connecting with the film, with the filmmakers clearly valuing wokeness over fidelity to the source material.

"It's not the year 2020, people," said Hollywood critic Angela Fannin. "Audiences will no longer accept having ridiculous woke narratives like 'black Storm' shoved down their throats. Fans come to the movies to be entertained, not spoon-fed some social agenda. Trying to reimagine Storm as a black woman will completely take the audience out of the movie. It's destined for utter failure."

As news of the casting decision leaked, longtime fans reacted with outrage. "A black female as Storm? You've got to be kidding me," said self-proclaimed comic book nerd Max Bertram. "Wokeness ruins everything. Can we not have this one thing? Just one thing that can stay pure, without all this forced diversity crap? It's so infuriating. What's next? Are they going to try to make Wolverine Canadian or something?"

At publishing time, appalled fans had learned that wokeness had struck again as producers planned to portray X-Men founder Professor Charles Xavier as a paraplegic.


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