WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Republican Party was hit with an awkward incident on Tuesday after Rep. Nancy Mace and House Speaker Mike Johnson discovered they had gotten matching arm tattoos by mistake.
Mace went viral over the weekend for showing off a number of arm tattoos she had previously kept hidden. But what at first looked like a desperate call to attention quickly turned to embarrassment after it was discovered Johnson had the exact same tattoos.
"I assure you this is just a coincidence," Johnson told reporters on Capitol Hill. "I had asked my tattoo artist to make me butch. It's not my fault he interpreted that as me wanting roses and a quote from Virginia Woolf."
According to sources, Mace confided in colleagues that she was "dying with embarrassment" and would never go out in public again. Reports even indicated she was now glad she lost her Senate primary bid and had chosen not to run for re-election. "I'm never going back to the Capitol!" she allegedly said. "Never!"
Confidence in Johnson has dropped to an all-time low following the major faux pas, with Republicans now finding themselves at a crossroads as they debate internally whether or not to replace him.
Majority Leader Steve Scalise said, "I don't think I can look at him the same way ever again. Now he just looks like a lesbian. Can a lesbian lead us? I don't think so."
At publishing time, Rep. Thomas Massie was reportedly disappointed that no one had asked him to get matching tattoos.
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