QUINCY, IL — The winner of the billion-dollar Powerball lottery was reportedly once again destitute after blowing the entire jackpot on a single burrito.
The day after scoring the billion-dollar prize, Meredith Barton reportedly splurged on a burrito with added guacamole and double steak, squandering her entire newfound fortune.
"I thought about buying a boat, or a couple of mansions. But then, I got hungry," explained Barton. "A burrito just seemed like it would really hit the spot. I didn't mean to waste the whole billion, but I really wanted that guac. Oh, well. It sure was a good burrito."
According to sociologists, Barton's story fits with a long pattern of lotto winners quickly winding up in poverty after burning through their winnings on extravagant purchases. "It's a tale as old as time," said sociology professor Dr. Anthony Bork. "These lottery winners do not know how to manage their wealth. Instead of setting aside most of the money and living off the interest, they rush out and buy these lavish luxuries, like a double-meat burrito. They don't realize how quickly the money will disappear when you press that 'Order' button on DoorDash."
At publishing time, sources reported that Barton had fallen into a million dollars of debt after adding a tip for her DoorDash driver.
The Babylon Bee finally exposes everything about the Jews in this documentary of hard-hitting investigative journalism.
