If you have never had the incredible joy of experiencing life alongside man's best friend, there is so much you are missing out on! Here are ten amazing reasons to bring home a dog today:
- You're tired of your house smelling nice - it's become kind of blasé.
- Going on vacation is way too easy - you need some challenge!
- You've been longing to own a creature who can lick its own butthole and also your face - there's just nothing like it.
- Your Amazon driver has felt safe for far too long - Jerry needs to feel the fear.
- You've been sleeping a bit too well lately - it's got to stop!
- The kids are sick of fetching the sticks you throw - they aren't even that good at it.
- Guests at your home are just sitting there enjoying themselves instead of having an animal lick their face - hey, where's that tongue been?
- Fulfill that deep yearning to put a plastic bag on your hand and touch poop - it just feels right.
- You can finally experience the searing pain of unbearable loss every twelve years - we all need a little more grief in our lives.
- Unconditional love - you really can screw up all day long, and your dog will be just as happy as ever to see you. Trust us.
What are you waiting for? Go get that pup!
When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.