WASHINGTON, D.C. — With negotiations taking place on Capitol Hill over funding increased security along America's southern border, Democrats in Congress have admitted they need a steady flow of immigrants to replace all the Democrat voters they aborted.
"We've got to make up those massive numbers somewhere," said Illinois Senator Dick Durbin. "We know we'd have an insurmountable voting lead today if we hadn't ruthlessly murdered tens of millions of our own children who could have grown up to vote Democrat, so we're having to retroactively fill that void by bringing in millions of foreign nationals and giving them free stuff to convince them to vote Democrat. It's the only way we can even try to even things out."
"It's the humane thing to do."
Democratic party leadership reportedly held a top-secret closed-door summit last year to settle on a strategy to replace all the voters it had actively worked to slaughter over the last few decades. "We can only commit so much voter fraud," one Democrat insider admitted under the condition of anonymity. "Eventually, we'll need a lot more than just phony mail-in ballots and machines that have been tampered with. We'll need actual real, live voters. Importing migrants is our only option. Plus, the more immigrants we bring in, the more babies we can keep killing! Best of both worlds!"
At publishing time, Democrats were reportedly pushing their long-term voter strategy even further by preparing legislation to finally legalize deceased people voting, thereby making all aborted babies permanent Democrat voters.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
