SPRING HILL, TN — Local dad Dave Tibbets, whose wife and children were visiting relatives out of state, reportedly arrived at church at 6:00 AM on Sunday, a full 3.5 hours before the 9:30 AM service was scheduled to begin.
Tibbets is a member of Grace Baptist Church of God, but he and his family are also regularly about 15 minutes late. He could never quite figure out why until yesterday, when he was on site to welcome the church greeters when they arrived at 8:00 to prepare for service.
"I do everything I can to get my family to church on time," said Tibbets. "I'm always the first one in the car waiting in the driveway. If only there was some way I could help them get out the door faster."
"I guess my family was holding me back this whole time."
According to witnesses, Tibbets had reorganized the hymnals, set up all the chairs, and organized his own prayer meeting for any earlycomers who may have been particularly pious.
"It's amazing how much I can get done when my family is away," he said after the service. "I was even able to sing along during worship and pay attention to the sermon."
At publishing time, with his family still out of town, Tibbets was shocked to learn how quickly and easily he was able to decide where to eat for dinner.
A friendly PSA on how to defend yourself from the explosive diarrhea parasite experts say may be found in fresh produce.
