Church
Church Members Worshiping At Home Could Get Used To This Mute Feature

U.S.—Churchgoers -- or rather, church-not-goers -- are beginning to worship at home throughout the nation. One feature they all say they "really could get used to" is the ability to mute any part of the worship experience they don't like.

Church members, drunk with their newfound muting power, are turning off the volume entirely during worship songs they don't like.

"It's a great way to get through 'Good, Good Father' or 'Oceans' pretty painlessly," said Greg Alpers of Phoenix, Arizona, as he muted the worship leader, who was giving a really long song introduction. "I'm really not looking forward to going back to in-person church, where we have to listen to the whole worship set and sermon without muting the parts we find disagreeable."

Sermons are not immune to worshipers' new muting ability. 92% of Christians surveyed about their live streaming habits admitted to muting the pastor when he started talking about sin or hell, while 97% say they have just turned off the pastor when he goes over 30 minutes. "Oh, look, it's 12 p.m.," said Katlyn Corners this past Sunday as her pastor's sermon broke the 45-minute mark. "See you next Sunday, pastor!"

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