WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists revealing that they had officially moved the Doomsday Clock to "85 seconds to midnight," President Donald Trump held a press conference to announce that he had created his own Doomsday Clock and set it to "infinity seconds to midnight."
The group of thinkers and experts made their announcement earlier this week, gravely warning that a confluence of geopolitical and climactic factors had brought the world closer than ever to destruction, a claim that Trump disputed with the introduction of his own clock.
"It's a much better clock, with many, many more seconds," Trump told reporters at the press conference. "These scientists don't know what they're talking about. They said, ‘We're getting close to the end of the world.' I don't believe that. We've brought America back and made it great again. Look at our economy. It's bigger and better than anything anyone has ever seen, but the scientists think the world is ending. That's why I created my own Doomsday Clock."
When asked by the media how he has the authority to disregard the official Doomsday Clock and create his own, Trump was matter-of-fact. "Anyone can make clocks, OK?" he said. "They're usually round. With numbers on it. Or dots. Sometimes it's just dots. And hands pointing at them. My clock is infinity seconds to midnight. That's a lot. And if we need to add more, we can. More than infinity. Infinity plus whatever. It's a big number."
At publishing time, Trump had announced that he had also created his own Trump Peace Prize and awarded it to himself.
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