MONROE, MI — A local man was seen shoveling snow in his driveway like some sort of idiot, because apparently, he doesn't know snow just melts and goes away by itself.
"Gotta get this snow off my sidewalk," said the poor sap as he toiled pointlessly with his shovel. "I'm responsible!"
Onlookers reportedly stopped to gawk at the sight. "Does this guy know how ridiculous he looks?" asked one bystander. "Snow is made of water. It just disappears on its own. What an idiot!"
Sources confirmed that the man planned to shovel his driveway as soon as he finished his sidewalk, apparently unaware that cars can just drive over snow pretty easily, and he could be doing something way more productive with his time, like playing video games.
Experts believe snow shoveling was invented by the snow-shovel industry as a ploy to sell snow shovels. "I'm not falling for it," said one savvy consumer.
At publishing time, neighbors had said they had witnessed the man mowing his grass on multiple occasions, despite the fact that it just grows back.
Minnesota is the place to be!
