LOS ANGELES, CA - In a brilliant move showing their intelligence and street smarts, both of which were definitely not acquired in the public school system, L.A.U.S.D. students dressed up as celebrities attending the Super Bowl this morning so they wouldn't have to wear a mask to school. Students donned attire making them appear to be miniature versions of Martha Stewart, Ryan Reynolds, Will Ferrell, and more big-name celebrities, hundreds of whom attended the packed football game yesterday without a mask in sight. "Sorry, teach -- you can't make me wear that," said one girl who now resembled Miley Cyrus. "I'm rich and famous and I'm above your rules." One smart student dressed up as Gavin Newsom himself, so he was allowed to wear no mask, dine indoors, and even given a private lunch party at an exclusive lunch table just for him, while everyone else had to wear masks and sit six feet apart.
There is hope for the future after all!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
