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Glory to glorious leader, President Xi!
If you listen to the news media, it's clear that America has become the most horrible and oppressive country in the world, which means people should be looking for a better place to live, like Communist China.
The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of examples of how China is way better than living in America:
Zero global pandemics started in the last 4 years: Wow, 4 years in a row is impressive.
Total freedom of speech from within your 4x4 confinement cell: You can literally say anything you want in there. Very generous.
There are a million places to learn Kung Fu: Everyone in China is a martial arts master.
The government will harvest all your extra, unnecessary organs for free: Convenient.
Gay characters are all edited out of movies: The way God intended it.
The President is the most handsome fellow in the world and does not look anything like Winnie the Pooh: He looks like Robert Redford, only even more handsome. And he's so, so smart. Trump must be very jealous.
Nobody has to deal with the hassle of elections: Just watch the state-run news to find out who your new leaders are. Much more relaxing.
They have gongs: You bang on them and they make a huge noise. Do you have a gong? Didn't think so.
Slave labor keeps production costs super low: As long as you're ok being the slave.
Authentic Chinese food: Available to everyone with a social credit score of at least 5,000.
Don't act like the reasons listed above don't have you packing your bags to move to China. Have any more examples of how living in China is better than the U.S.? Share them in the comments.
NOT SATIRE: "The Unrestricted War": A Must-See Movie They Don't Want You to See
The new movie "The Unrestricted War" — which is being censored and refused by distributors everywhere — is streaming now on GJW+ exclusively.
"The Unrestricted War" is a political thriller that exposes the CCP's real strategy — unrestricted warfare against the free world. Inspired by true events during the early COVID-19 outbreak, the film delves into how the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) concealed critical information and silenced whistleblowers, triggering a global crisis.
"Unrestricted war" refers to a real-life military strategy developed by two senior Chinese Army officers that aims to weaken enemy societies through all means possible, blending into everyday life through infiltration, technology, information warfare, and media manipulation. The movie tells the truth of our present time — the "Unrestricted War" has begun, and every American needs to know.
The people participating in the film are also the victims of the CCP's real-life unrestricted warfare. Award-winning director Yan Ma experienced interference from the local government officials in China, including harassment and some of his family members being cut off from their income.
All distributors are refusing "The Unrestricted War." So, instead of releasing the film in theatres, it is released on the GJW+ streaming platform exclusively.
Watch the movie now to learn the truth.
Our investigative journalists have uncovered this authentic Hitler jeans ad from 1942:
