10 Ways To Come Out As A Conservative To Your Liberal Parents

Worldviews · Feb 4, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
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Our current society can have trouble showing acceptance — especially to conservatives. If you're a young conservative who has kept your political views a secret from your family, knowing how to tell your parents can be difficult.

The Babylon Bee is here to help you closeted folks with the following list of ways to come out as a conservative to your liberal parents:


  1. Go on a date with someone of the opposite sex: Seeing blatant displays of heterosexuality will make it obvious to them.

  2. Get a job: Another child lost to capitalism.

  3. Put up a "Fat JD Vance" poster in your bedroom: He's so adorable, that chunk.

  4. Take a shower: Any regard for hygiene will communicate the truth.

  5. Start wearing a "Don't Tread On Me" flag like a cape around the house: Subtle, but effective.

  6. Call ICE and have your mom and dad deported: A bit harsh, but they'll get the message.

  7. Gently break the news to them that you're going to stay a boy: Tough break, mom and dad.

  8. Move out of the basement: Only a conservative desires to be a productive member of society.

  9. Slowly set a medium-rare ribeye down on the plate of salad mom just served: RFK would be so proud.

  10. Douse them with an unknown chemical, put nooses around their necks, and shout, "This is MAGA country!": You wouldn't be the first, right?


Sooner or later, they'll get the message. It might be tough at first, but you'll finally get to live your life the way you were born to be. What are other ways someone can come out as conservative to their liberal parents? Post your suggestions in the comments.


Coming soon to a Democrat-controlled city near you!