The Babylon Bee
Scripture
· Oct 9, 2026
· 28
Jesus Tells Parable Of The Wise Servant Who Invested In Pokémon Cards
JERUSALEM - While overlooking the Temple from the Mount of Olives, the one called Jesus reportedly shared with His disciples a new teaching called the...
Politics
· Oct 9, 2026
· 32
Democrat Strategists Remove James Talarico From Campaign Trail To Hide The Fact That He's James Talarico
AUSTIN, TX - Senate candidate James Talarico suddenly disappeared from the campaign trail last week after Democratic strategists realized that he is J...
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U.S.
· Oct 8, 2026
· 41
Experts Fear Terrorist Activity In Minneapolis Could Spread To America Next
U.S. - After a terrorist attack on the Mall of America was narrowly thwarted yesterday, experts warned that terrorist activity could spread beyond Min...
World
· Oct 6, 2026
· 120
Palestinians Finally Granted Own Country
PARIS - At long last, the Palestinian people finally have a land to truly call their own.
World
· Oct 8, 2026
· 57
French Frantically Search Rioting Mob For Someone To Surrender To
PARIS - French leaders came up empty-handed on Thursday after spending several days searching for someone in the rioting mob to surrender to.
Family
· Oct 8, 2026
· 48
HomeGoods Now Selling Signs That Read 'Live, Laugh, Strangle Your Kids If You're Sad, Love'
FRAMINGHAM, MA - In a surprising twist on a popular home décor motif, the home furnishing retail chain HomeGoods was now selling signs that read, "Liv...
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Politics
· Oct 7, 2026
· 51
Mamdani's October 7th Address Derailed As Wife's Party Balloons Keep Floating Across Screen
NEW YORK, NY - Mayor Zohran Mamdani attempted to deliver a solemn address to mark the anniversary of October 7th, but was derailed as his wife's party...
Life
· Oct 8, 2026
· 69
Irony: Man Finally Finds Perfectly Ripe Avocado At The Grocery Store But Is Killed In A Car Crash On The Way Home
SCRANTON, PA - After years of failed attempts, local man Paul Foster finally found a perfectly ripe avocado at the grocery store, only to be tragicall...
U.S.
· Oct 5, 2026
· 165
Top 10 Reasons To Move To Indiana
Looking to move to a new state? Look no further than Indiana! There are plenty of reasons to move there. Seriously.
Worldviews
· Oct 7, 2026
· 44
Liberals Prepare For Anniversary Of October 8, The Day Israel Attacked Gaza For No Reason
NEW YORK, NY - Liberals around the country prepared to commemorate the anniversary of October eighth, the day Israel attacked Gaza completely unprovok...
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Premium
· Oct 9, 2026
· 17
The Babylon Bee Weekly Roundup | October 9, 2026
Welcome to the Bee's Weekly Roundup! We're here to catch you up on the biggest stories of the past week -- and to save our dear readers from the dread...
Premium
· Oct 8, 2026
· 60
Dad Commits Harakiri In Shame After Not Mowing Lawn Lines Perfectly Straight
This bonus article is for you, our valued subscribers. Enjoy!
Premium
· Oct 6, 2026
· 145
Will Your Favorite Animal Go To Heaven Or Hell? A Handy Guide
Here is a bonus article for all you Babylon Bee subscribers.
Premium
· Oct 5, 2026
· 67
How Was Church? Ladder Edition
It's Monday, and you know what that means! The almost obligatory "How Was Church?" post. How was your Lord's Day service? Did your pastor use any ladd...
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