The Babylon Bee
Theology
· Nov 10, 2026
· 55
Theologians Announce That All Of Creation Declares The Glory Of God Except For New Jersey
U.S. - Theologians have clarified that all of creation does declare the glory of God, but with the notable exception of New Jersey.
Media
· Nov 10, 2026
· 50
Thomas Massie Makes Final Push For Job As MS NOW Anchor
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Outgoing Congressman Thomas Massie took to the media yesterday to make one final push for a job as an MS NOW anchor.
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Scripture
· Nov 9, 2026
· 62
11 More Foods Esau Would Have Traded His Birthright For
Jacob's brother, Esau, famously traded away his birthright for a bowl of stew. That's right, stew. Nothing special, right? But there were reportedly s...
Scripture
· Nov 9, 2026
· 36
Joseph’s Brothers Jealous Of His Vintage Charlotte Hornets Starter Jacket
CANAAN - Tensions heightened in one prominent local family this week, as witnesses reported that Joseph's brothers had grown increasingly jealous of h...
U.S.
· Nov 9, 2026
· 53
Heartbroken Eric Swalwell Learns Chinese Intelligence Has Been Seeing Other People
LIVERMORE, CA - Following the news that Chinese agents had been engaging in widespread "honeypot" operations across the United States for years, forme...
Politics
· Nov 9, 2026
· 61
Democrats Say They Now Have A Clear Mandate From Voters To Do All The Crazy Stuff They Never Mentioned In Their Campaigns
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Democrats announced on Monday that they now have a clear mandate from voters to do all the crazy stuff they never mentioned in thei...
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Finance
· Nov 7, 2026
· 82
Promises Kept: Democrats Deliver On Affordability By Making Stocks Way Cheaper
U.S. - Democrats proudly announced that they had already delivered on their campaign promise to improve affordability, having made stock prices far, f...
U.S.
· Nov 5, 2026
· 121
Do You Live In Texas? Here Are 12 Things You Should Do To Prepare For Democrats Taking Over
Listen up, Texans: most of you have never experienced living under Democratic rule, and there are some new realities you need to be ready for.
Lifestyle
· Nov 7, 2026
· 122
Start Your Engines: Liberal Women Announce They're Ready To Have Sex Again Now That Abortion Will Be Legal
U.S. - Men broke out in rejoicing upon learning that in the wake of the midterms, all the lovely, gorgeous liberal women of America were ready to end ...
Politics
· Nov 6, 2026
· 100
Republicans Wishing There Had Been Some Kind Of Act They Could Have Passed To Save America
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Blindsided by Tuesday's midterm election debacle, Republicans were reportedly now wishing there had been some kind of act they coul...
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Premium
· Nov 10, 2026
· 34
DC Releases Improved Cut Of 'Supergirl' Where They Just Removed The Whole Movie And Replaced It With 'The Princess Bride'
Here's an article we wrote up but held off on publishing since the news cycle had already moved on from 'Supergirl.' Here it is as a Bonus Article for...
Premium
· Nov 9, 2026
· 83
Subscriber Polls: Why Did The Republicans Lose The Midterms In A Blue Tsunami?
Well it looks like last week's midterm election may result in a Senate with at least 54 Democrat senators and a House with at least 254 Democrat repre...
Premium
· Nov 6, 2026
· 25
The Babylon Bee Weekly Roundup | November 6, 2026
It's been quite the week, but Friday has arrived at last! That means it's once again time for The Babylon Bee's Weekly Roundup - here are the biggest ...
Premium
· Nov 5, 2026
· 61
Office Buzz: 'Why Is *** Offensive?'
For writers like the intrepid journalists at The Babylon Bee, it sometimes looks like we're goofing around when what we're really doing is brainstormi...
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