Economy
· Sep 11, 2026
· 41
Man Paying $5 A Gallon For Gas Sure Glad He Stuck It To Elon Musk By Getting Rid Of His Tesla
REDMOND, WA - According to sources, a local man who paid over $5 a gallon for gas was sure glad he stuck it to Elon Musk by getting rid of his Tesla.
Life
· Sep 11, 2026
· 50
Life Hack: Avoid Leaving Your Wallet At Home By Setting It Next To Your Katana
Don't you just hate it when you're out buying Pokémon cards, only to discover that you left your wallet at home? Well, with an exciting new life hack,...
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Politics
· Sep 10, 2026
· 63
Trump Pledges That If Voters Defeat Socialism In November, They Will Each Get An Equal Redistribution Of Wealth From The Government
DALLAS, TX - In his keynote speech at the 2026 RNC Midterm Convention, President Donald Trump pledged that if voters defeat socialism in November, the...
U.S.
· Sep 11, 2026
· 45
Nation Forgot
NEW YORK, NY - Twenty-five years after Americans from all walks of life had pledged to "Never Forget" the horrific terrorist attacks of September 11, ...
Crime
· Sep 9, 2026
· 96
The Babylon Bee Interviews The Lindsay Clancy Jury
With millions of Americans struggling to understand how the Lindsay Clancy jury came within a hair's breadth of finding the self-confessed murderer "n...
Theology
· Sep 9, 2026
· 75
'Oh, Your Intelligent Creations Are Trying To Kill You? That's Interesting,' Says Jesus
PALO ALTO, CA - As tech giants continue to bicker back and forth about the dangers of A.I. becoming powerful enough to kill all humanity, Silicon Vall...
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Sponsored
· Sep 9, 2026
· 65
9 Rejected 'VeggieTales' Episodes
There have been over 150 episodes of the beloved children's cartoon VeggieTales across all its iterations, but not every idea the writers had made it ...
Politics
· Sep 10, 2026
· 66
Mamdani: Women Attending 9/11 Memorial Will Be Required To Wear Hijab
NEW YORK, NY - Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced this week that all women attending tomorrow's 9/11 memorial will be required to wear a hijab.
Crime
· Sep 9, 2026
· 75
Holdout Juror Accused Of Getting Hung Up On Fact That Defendant Committed Crime
PLYMOUTH, MA - In the wake of Lindsay Clancy's murder case ending in a mistrial, several jurors have publicly accused the lone holdout juror of being ...
U.S.
· Sep 10, 2026
· 49
Nation Reconsidering Trial By Jury Of Peers After Discovering That Our Peers Are All Dummies
U.S. - The people of the United States were reportedly reconsidering the longstanding legal tradition of trial by a jury of peers after the revelation...
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Happy Labor Day 2026!
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Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project
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Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed
The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
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