The Babylon Bee
Life
· Oct 26, 2026
· 39
Single Raindrop Falls From Sky, Causing Every Californian To Scream And Drive Their Car Off Cliff
LOS ANGELES, CA - A single raindrop fell from the sky Monday morning, triggering widespread panic and causing millions of Californians to immediately ...
Scripture
· Oct 26, 2026
· 14
Pharaoh Relents After Moses Unleashes Plague Of Political Fundraising Texts
PI-RAMESSES - Mighty Pharaoh (may he live forever) has reportedly released the Hebrews from their bondage after the land was afflicted by a plague of ...
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Life
· Oct 22, 2026
· 69
Not Sure If You Married Your Brother? 9 Signs To Look For
With Representative Ilhan Omar seemingly unsure about whether she accidentally married her brother, millions of women have been left asking themselves...
Culture
· Oct 24, 2026
· 78
LGBTQ+ To Add 'S' For Sibling
NEW YORK, NY - LGBTQ+ has just gotten a little more inclusive with the addition of an "S" for "Sibling."
Sports
· Oct 23, 2026
· 68
NFL To Paint 'Allahu Akbar' In Endzone For Game In Paris
PARIS - To accommodate modern French sensibilities, the NFL has announced that their first ever game to take place in Paris will include special endzo...
Entertainment
· Oct 24, 2026
· 38
God Promises To Spare BioWare If He Can Find Ten Developers Who Are Heterosexual White Men
EDMONTON - Just days before Electronic Arts shuttered video game developer BioWare Corp., sources confirmed a divine promise was made to spare the stu...
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Crime
· Oct 23, 2026
· 78
'You Will Always Remember The Day You Almost Caught Ilhan Omar!' Shouts Representative Jumping Aboard Somali Pirate Ship
DULUTH, MN - Congresswoman Ilhan Omar narrowly evaded capture by authorities on Thursday as she was seen escaping aboard a Somali pirate ship docked i...
Politics
· Oct 22, 2026
· 71
Ilhan Omar Says She Didn't Know She'd Married Her Brother As They Were Separated At Birth And Hidden From Their Father, Darth Vader
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an interview with MS NOW last night, Representative Ilhan Omar explained that she didn't know that she had married her brother a...
Scripture
· Oct 22, 2026
· 47
‘Not To My Knowledge,’ Replies Eve When Asked If She Ate The Forbidden Fruit
EDEN - Asked by God whether she had consumed fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, Eve replied, "Not to my knowledge."
Sponsored
· Oct 21, 2026
· 85
Can You Name Each Of These Sacred Relics From 1990s Christianity?
Christianity has existed for almost 2,000 years, but no decade in its history has proven so rich as the 1990s. Consider these ancient relics from the ...
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Premium
· Oct 23, 2026
· 23
The Babylon Bee Weekly Roundup | October 23, 2026
Welcome to the Bee's Weekly Roundup! We're here to catch you up on the biggest stories of the past week - and to save our dear readers from the dreadf...
Premium
· Oct 22, 2026
· 93
Open Discussion Thread: Gerwig's Narnia
A few days have passed since the psychedelic, rock-riff blasting trailer of Greta Gerwig's $250 million retelling of Narnia: The Magician's Nephew dro...
Premium
· Oct 21, 2026
· 54
NEWS DESK: New Poll Shows Voters Frustrated By Gas Prices Willing To Start Castrating Kids Again
This Babylon Bee News Desk is an exclusive video for our subscribers. Enjoy!
Premium
· Oct 20, 2026
· 54
Babylon Bee Robbed Of Nobel Prize In Literature For Tenth Straight Year
STOCKHOLM - The Swedish Academy has once again passed over The Babylon Bee for the Nobel Prize in Literature, marking a decade of preposterous snubs f...
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