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Saint Peter Gently Asks Chuck Norris To Stop Roundhouse Kicking The Cherubim - Article image
Christian Living · Mar 21, 2026 · 36
Saint Peter Gently Asks Chuck Norris To Stop Roundhouse Kicking The Cherubim

HEAVEN - After several incidents over the course of his first day in paradise, Chuck Norris was pulled aside by Saint Peter and gently asked to please...

Man Smokes Cigar In Desperate Hope To Feel Sick And Become Unattractive To Wife - Article image
Family · Mar 21, 2026 · 52
Man Smokes Cigar In Desperate Hope To Feel Sick And Become Unattractive To Wife

HOUSTON, TX - Local man Matthew Coggins lit up a cigar this afternoon in a bid to feel terribly nauseous while simultaneously causing his wife to find...

After Jesus Bestows Nicknames ‘The Rock’ And ‘Sons Of Thunder’, Apostle James Bummed To Get Stuck With ‘The Lesser’ - Article image
Scripture · Mar 22, 2026 · 68
After Jesus Bestows Nicknames ‘The Rock’ And ‘Sons Of Thunder’, Apostle James Bummed To Get Stuck With ‘The Lesser’

JUDEA - With his fellow apostle scoring nicknames from Jesus like "The Rock" and "Sons of Thunder", the Apostle James admitted to feeling a tad bit di...
Trump Postpones Iran Strikes Until They All Assemble In One Place Again For A Meeting
Trump Postpones Iran Strikes Until They All Assemble In One Place Again For A Meeting
Trump Postpones Iran Strikes Until They All Assemble In One Place Again For A Meeting - Featured article image
World · Mar 23, 2026

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a promising sign that the weeks-long conflict in the Middle East could soon be over, President Donald Trump postponed strikes ag...

10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris - Article image
Entertainment · Mar 20, 2026 · 96
10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris

Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the place beyond space. As we look back ...

Entertainment · Mar 20, 2026 · 96
10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris

10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris - Featured article image
Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the place beyond space. As we look back ...
After Jesus Bestows Nicknames ‘The Rock’ And ‘Sons Of Thunder’, Apostle James Bummed To Get Stuck With ‘The Lesser’ - Article image
Scripture · Mar 22, 2026 · 68
After Jesus Bestows Nicknames ‘The Rock’ And ‘Sons Of Thunder’, Apostle James Bummed To Get Stuck With ‘The Lesser’

JUDEA - With his fellow apostle scoring nicknames from Jesus like "The Rock" and "Sons of Thunder", the Apostle James admitted to feeling a tad bit di...

Subscriber Headlines

MegaChurch Offshores Prayer Call Center To India

Mar 12, 2026 | Coach T


Trump Shows Off Pikachu Illustrator Card Given To Him By The Prime Minister Of Japan

Mar 19, 2026 | The Raider


Democrats Vow To Destroy Earth If Trump Brings World Peace

Mar 9, 2026 | WilliamRodham

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Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe - Article image
Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe
Worldviews · Mar 20, 2026 · 54
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California Abandons $250 Billion Study On Why It Has So Many Unfinished Projects
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Theologians Believe Every Meal In Heaven Is Ice Cream In A Miniature Baseball Helmet - Article image
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Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel' On Every Puzzle - Article image
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MLB Introduces Popular New Rule Where Umps Who Get More Than 3 Calls Overturned Are Jettisoned Into The Sun - Article image
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'Fear Not!' Says Chuck Norris To Calm Trembling Angels - Article image
Celebs · Mar 20, 2026 · 64
'Fear Not!' Says Chuck Norris To Calm Trembling Angels

HEAVEN - A group of seraphim guarding the gates of Heaven was terrified yesterday by the sudden appearance of legendary martial artist and action star...
Gavin Newsom's 10 Biggest Accomplishments - Article image
Politics · Mar 19, 2026 · 117
Gavin Newsom's 10 Biggest Accomplishments

California owes a lot to Governor Gavin Newsom. So much, in fact, that it's hard to narrow down his long list of accomplishments.
France Explains They Can't Help Open Strait Of Hormuz As They Already Sent All 15 Of Their Soldiers To Defend Greenland - Article image
World · Mar 21, 2026 · 85
France Explains They Can't Help Open Strait Of Hormuz As They Already Sent All 15 Of Their Soldiers To Defend Greenland

PARIS - French President Emmanuel Macron explained today that the French Army simply could not help open the Strait of Hormuz as all fifteen of its so...
Local Man Likes His Coffee Cold, With Milk, Just Like A Little Baby - Article image
Culture · Mar 20, 2026 · 62
Local Man Likes His Coffee Cold, With Milk, Just Like A Little Baby

SEATTLE, WA - According to sources, local man Richard Stevenson prefers to take his coffee cold and with milk like a little baby.

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8 Coolest Perks Of Becoming The New Ayatollah - Article image
World · Mar 18, 2026 · 63
8 Coolest Perks Of Becoming The New Ayatollah

The hottest job on the market right now is being the Iranian Ayatollah, but why is everyone suddenly buzzing about it? Here are just eight of the most...
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Sponsored · Dec 15, 2021 · 174
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First off, congratulations on raising a child already versed in progressive ideals! Your Christmas holiday is sure to be filled with joy, laughter, fe...
Gay Ayatollah Excited After Receiving DM From Cute Guy Jamesmohammed O'Keefibad - Article image
World · Mar 19, 2026 · 40
Gay Ayatollah Excited After Receiving DM From Cute Guy Jamesmohammed O'Keefibad

TEHRAN - According to U.S. intelligence sources, Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei couldn't believe his luck when he received a DM from a cute guy by the nam...
California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build - Article image
U.S. · Mar 19, 2026 · 65
California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build

LOS ANGELES, CA - California state and city officials gathered with residents on Thursday to celebrate the opening of a public trash can that cost jus...

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Libertarian Pilgrims Set Sail For Argentina In Search Of A Better Life - Article image
Politics · Nov 20, 2023 · 140
Libertarian Pilgrims Set Sail For Argentina In Search Of A Better Life

PORTSMOUTH, NH - Immediately after Argentinians did the unthinkable and elected an actual libertarian to an actual political office, a shipful of libe...
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After Senseless Murder Of Goliath, Philistines Call For Ban On Fully Automatic, High-Capacity Slings - Article image
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New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 25
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims

Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...
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Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 31
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test

Do you think you can guess the terrorist in this thumbnail? If so, you are a racist. Unconscious bias is a type of systematically deeply integrated so...
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Premium · Mar 10, 2026 · 30
New Video - News Media Successfully Avoids Reporting News

Secret Service interrupts the most handsome President of the United States of America in the world to share some explosive news - unfortunately, it's ...
New Video - BREAKING: Iran Announces Their New Supreme Leader - Article image
Premium · Mar 5, 2026 · 49
New Video - BREAKING: Iran Announces Their New Supreme Leader

The Iranian government has officially announced a successor to Ayatollah Khamenei, introducing today the new Supreme Leader - wait, they have now anno...

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Powerful: LeBron James Pulls Over To Lecture Homeless Man On His White Privilege - Article image
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In Genius Move, Trump Supports Impeachment, Forcing Democrats To Oppose - Article image
In Genius Move, Trump Supports Impeachment, Forcing Democrats To Oppose
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Government Accidentally Shuts Itself Down With Ban On Non-Essential Businesses - Article image
Government Accidentally Shuts Itself Down With Ban On Non-Essential Businesses
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