Church Family
Man Dies Of Old Age In Church Parking Lot After Waiting 60 Years For Wife To Finish Socializing

LOS ANGELES, CA—Local man Herbert Patterson died of natural causes after waiting in his car for over sixty years for his wife to finish socializing at Second Avenue Baptist Church following a November 1956 service, sources confirmed Tuesday.

Patterson reportedly got into the couple’s 1955 Chevrolet Bel Air about 30 minutes after the close of the service, right after being assured by his wife Betty that she would “only be a moment,” and then they could go get a hamburger at McDonald’s on the way home.

But when minutes turned to years, and years to decades, the man began to grow concerned.

“Well, that’s Betty for you,” Patterson said with a good-natured chuckle in a 2008 interview, as he continued to sit in the front seat of their car waiting for his wife. “Oh, by the way—don’t tell me who won the Cold War. I want to be surprised when I turn on the radio tonight to check the news.”

“Honey, it’s time to go! Come on!” he called out, attempting to honk the horn but finding it had long since ceased functioning.

Sadly, Patterson would never find out who won the Cold War, as he passed away peacefully in the driver’s seat of the couple’s now-classic car, as his wife continued to signal that she was just going to be one more minute talking with her friends in front of the church.

“He went as he would have wanted to—waiting for grandma to be done milling about after church,” one of Patterson’s grandchildren said at the funeral, which Mrs. Patterson did not attend, as she was still reportedly socializing for “just one more minute” after the church service that ended over sixty years ago.

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