Hey ladies, have you ever just stared at your man and wondered what he was thinking? Relax! Your man isn't thinking about other women. We assembled a panel of man experts (who are men) and they've compiled a definitive list of things your man is currently pondering.
Here are the 17 things your man could be thinking at this exact moment. (Only one at a time)
- I bet I could do a pullup on that rafter.
- Nachos. I could go for some nachos.
- "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
- I wonder if the boys from the old days would come by for some 4-player split-screen Halo. I should set that up some time.
- I bet I can jump up and touch that sign. Yep, gonna do it.
- I bet I could beat everyone here in a footrace.
- Wall. Couch. Door. Hands. [We think he's just looking at things in the room at this point]
- How many Highlander movies did they end up making?
- Why did Sean Connery help Connor MacLeod if they were destined to destroy each other?
- The Roman Empire collapsed in a very similar manner to our own society. Man, I would have been a great legionnaire.
- Do I own Highlander? "Alexa, order Highlander on Blu-ray."
- Where is the best cover in case I have to draw my weapon against an evil Commie attacker?
- I wish I were a Hobbit. Just tending my garden and smoking pipeweed. Maybe going on a quest if called upon. Man. That'd be great.
- Just gonna glance down at my biceps to make sure they still look swole. Yup. Lookin' pretty good down there, guys.
- I wonder if the kids are old enough to watch Highlander.
Note: This is an exhaustive list of things men think about. There are no other things.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!