KYIV — As Ukrainian officials prepared to submit their request to join NATO, President Volodymyr Zelensky planned to use one of the most powerful secret weapons at his disposal — his Hollywood connections — and ask Ben Stiller if he could put the actor down as a reference on the application.
"We would be most honored to list the amazing star of Tropic Thunder as one of the references who can vouch for our proud nation," Zelensky said in a statement to the media. "We feel it will go a long way in the minds of the NATO members to have a man of Ben Stiller's caliber standing up for us. If the man who captivated audiences in Little Fockers cannot accomplish this, who can?"
It is not yet known if Stiller has granted permission, though it would seem to only be a formality due to the strong relationship the Starsky & Hutch star has formed with the Ukrainian leader. "Ben has staunchly signaled his virtue time and again by appearing in front of cameras on behalf of the brave Ukrainian people," said Ceci Rosca, a member of Stiller's publicity team. "There is little reason to believe he would not continue to aid President Zelensky in any way he can, especially if it is televised."
At publishing time, Zelensky was hard at work burning up the phone lines to reach out to his other contacts in the American entertainment industry to bolster support. "We are so very grateful to our friends in Hollywood for their continued support," the Ukrainian leader said. "Without their help, we could never defeat the Russian invaders and lay the groundwork for my movie career."
Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: