Sociological experts and podcasters agree: Living in Russia is far superior to living in the United States. From their pristine subways and plentiful grocery stores to the clearly secure and not-at-all-suspect way they hold elections, Russia is the place to be.
Here are 10 irrefutable proofs that living in Russia is better than living in the U.S.:
The legal drinking age in Russia is 8: OK, so maybe not "legal," but everyone does it. Come on, America, get with the times.
Russia is better at hockey: As long as you only count pre-1980.
They have those big, furry hats: Hard to argue against that.
Riding a bear is the most common mode of transportation: Meanwhile, everyone in the U.S. is still stuck driving "automobiles." Weak.
Borscht beats cheeseburgers every time: A triple-cheeseburger with bacon just can't compare with a nice bowl of sour beet soup.
The only "pride" parades they have are Russian pride parades: And if you attend, you avoid being shot in the face. It's a win-win.
The median house price is 90 million rubles (approximately $4 USD): Granted, the house is made of cardboard and Soviet-era sawdust bricks, but still amazingly affordable.
Way more oligarchs: Who doesn't love a good oligarchy?
The bread is so good people stand in line for it: Just like for donuts at that place in Portland. Except no sprinkles.
Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens are recognized for the geniuses they are: Finally, a country with some common sense.
After reading that list, just try to hold yourself back from moving to Russia tomorrow. What are some other ways Russia is totally better than the U.S.? Post them in the comments.
Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.
