Californians Give Us Their Top 9 Reasons For Still Voting Democrat

Politics · Jun 2, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
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It's Primary Election Day in California, and, as expected, a ton of people are still voting Democrat. The Babylon Bee hit the streets to find out why.

Here are some of the top reasons:


  1. "Well, my home hasn't burned down yet.": "Yet" would be the key word here.

  2. "The crackhead sleeping on the corner gets me a great deal on fentanyl.": And who doesn't love fentanyl?

  3. "Republicans will ban gender reassignment surgery for toddlers.": Those monsters.

  4. "The only way to defeat Trump's fascism is through high taxes and state control of everything.": They heard it on The View, so you know it's true.

  5. "Would probably like to kill someone someday, just in case.": Murder is illegal in other states. Shameful.

  6. "Wildfires are like Southern California's version of the Northern Lights.": Why would anyone want to take that away from them?

  7. "We can't abandon the high-speed rail project now, or it definitely won't get finished.": If we stay the course, it could be finished by 2190.

  8. "It's a lot easier to calculate your finances when gas is $10 a gallon.": Californians love big round numbers.

  9. "What the heck is a 'Republican?'": Maybe conservatives need to market their ideas better.


Looks like California is going to remain blue for a while yet, but at least the voters have some legit reasons. Which do you most agree with? Let us know in the comments.


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