FRANCE — French shop owners across the nation have begun hanging hams over their doorposts so the hordes of rioters will pass by their shops and leave their property unscathed.
Business owners began using the unusual defensive method after noting that looters and rioters ransacked French grocery stores but left the ham and pork products untouched.
"I'm not allowed to explain why it works, but it does," French shop owner Desmond La Forge commented. "When we hang hams from our doors, no one enters. It's amazing. I started to ask a fellow store owner how it works, but he said 'Explaining that would be hate speech' and just kept hanging up the hams."
The riots continue to wreak havoc on many regions in France, and police have made thousands of arrests over the past week. However, in spite of the law enforcement presence, over 1,500 stores have been ransacked. "We had to take matters into our own hands. We had to get ham," said local woman Desiree Ponce. "It's like garlic keeping away vampires. I hung 15 honey-baked hams from my doorway, and last night no one came near."
At publishing time, store owners also found success in placing women without head coverings at the front of their stores to ward off potential attackers.
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