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Can You Name Each Of These Sacred Relics From 1990s Christianity?

Premium · Oct 21, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
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Brought to you by: Equipping the Persecuted

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Christianity has existed for almost 2,000 years, but no decade in its history has proven so rich as the 1990s. Consider these ancient relics from the past. Can you identify them?

Behold:


The official Junior Asparagus puppet!

Look at that youthful boy, full of hope and dreams. All thanks to Veggie Tales.


JESUS FREAK: the album that shaped us with its powerful lyrics:

D is for decent, I mean what I say
But obscene, I don't play that way

Thank you, dc Talk.


Fully Rely On God Bracelets:

Any loser had a WWJD bracelet. Only real ones knew FROG.


Promise Ring:

Accept no substitute. The Promise Ring™ was the only way to get pre-betrothed in the '90s.


Ah, the "Footprints in the Sand" poem/picture:

No Christian home was complete without it.


The Buttercream Gang:

That band of pasty white do-gooders we all aspired to join.


Five Iron Frenzy:

No more sacred 90s relics than Reese, Brad, Jedd, Dennis, Keith, and Andrew. We love you!!


Mortal Kombat:

The game your mom said you couldn't play but you did anyway YOU SINNER.


Songs from the Heart by Sandi Patti:

This pink album artwork is a call for all women to embrace traditional values.


Bible Adventures for the Nintendo Entertainment System:

Aw man, those were the days.


This church that used to be Christian:

Remember that? Good times.


The Left Behind Series:

There was no better way to scare the absolute crap out of young children.


What an incredible time. What's your favorite sacred relic from this period? Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments.


NOT SATIRE: Christmas will soon be upon us. As we make plans for family gatherings and Christmas dinners, Christians in Nigeria are preparing to celebrate the birth of their Savior in refugee camps, enduring the hardships of persecution and displacement.

These are our brothers and sisters in Christ. We belong to the same Lord, and their suffering should move us to act. Operation Christmas Cow gives us a practical way to help. Through Equipping the Persecuted, a cow can provide a Christmas meal for approximately 100 people. Picture families gathering to share that meal, children joining in the celebration, and a community receiving a tangible reminder that fellow Christians remember them and care.

You can help put that meal before them. Give toward a cow, sponsor one with your family, or bring the opportunity to your church or Sunday school class. Together, we can turn our concern for persecuted Christians into food on their tables and joy in their Christmas celebration.

As we celebrate God's gift to us in Jesus Christ, let us open our hands to those who bear His name through suffering. Visit ChristmasCow.org and help Operation Christmas Cow bring nourishment and hope to persecuted Christians in Nigeria this Christmas. Christians deserve more than sympathy after another massacre. They deserve someone working to keep them alive.

Please become a monthly partner with Equipping The Persecuted today. We cannot be satisfied with counting the dead. We have to protect the living.

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