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Modernized Year Of Jubilee Will Forgive Everyone For Their Old Tweets

WORLD—A new proposal derived from the biblical, Jewish concept of Jubilee will forgive everyone for their tweets every 50 years.

"Every 50th year, everyone's old tweets will be forgiven them when the trumpet sounds," read the proclamation, delivered by a group of Jewish and Christian leaders who came up with the idea.

"You shall count off seven Sabbaths of years---that's 49 years for you people who are bad at math. Then you shall sound the loud trumpet when the ball drops on New Year's Eve. You shall sound the trumpet throughout all your land. You shall make the fiftieth year holy, and proclaim all old tweets forgiven to all the inhabitants of the land," they announced. 

"It shall be a Twitter jubilee to you; and each of you shall forgive one another for things you tweeted decades ago. That fiftieth year shall be a jubilee to you."

Perhaps everybody's favorite part of the proposal, however, is that this 50th year acts as a kind of Twitter Sabbath, where everyone rests and nobody is allowed to tweet all year long: "In that year you shall not tweet, nor shall you subtweet, nor shall you comb through old tweets to look for dirt on people. For it is a jubilee; it shall be holy to you."

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