TOPEKA, KS — Women scientists wrapped up a comprehensive study this week, concluding an animal's cuteness increases up to four hundred percent with each missing limb the animal incurs.
The study, titled "OH LOOK AT THAT CHIHUAHUA WITH ONLY TWO LEGS AND LITTLE WHEELCHAIR I CAN'T HANDLE IT", looked at the effects an amputated limb had on the overall cuteness factor of any given animal.
"We were amazed to see how relatively adorable little critters became nearly infinitely cuter when they had lost a leg," lead researcher Tiffany Campbell told reporters. "I mean LOOK AT THE WIDDLE KITTY WITH THE MISSING BACK LEG!!!! Sorry. It's just a thing that happens when I see an ACK! I CAN'T HANDLE IT."
The women scientists graphed on an axis the levels of Perceived Animal Cuteness (PAC) related to Loss of Limb (LOL). The researchers were amazed to see how PAC shot up with each subsequent LOL an animal experienced.
"We finally brought in a quadruple amputee yellow lab named Stubles," Campbell explained. "The PAC levels recorded in our female observers flew off the chart. We knew we had a data point. I MEAN…HE'S JUST A LITTLE TRUNK WITH NO LEGS!! I…CAN'T HANDLE…IT."
The researchers also observed similar effects in animals with scars, missing eyes, and a good, strong limp.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!