With Birthing Person's Day Over, Families Prepare For Lawnmowing Person's Day
Family · May 10, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. - Now that the country has celebrated bleeding birthing people of all genders on Birthing Person's Day, families are gearing up for Lawnmowing Person's Day.

"Ah, I love lawnmowing person's day," said Dale Polski, a local family lawnmowing person who identifies as male. "It's a great day to put some meat on the grill, open this year's pair of new socks, and enjoy a nap."

Some have made a point to remind everyone that not all lawnmowing people identify as male. "Some lawnmowers are female," said Amy Brown, a lawnmowing person from next door who identifies as female. "I mow the lawn every week, so this day is for people like me too!" she said proudly.

Several teens have also come forward demanding to be celebrated on Lawnmowing Person's Day, stating that they identify as lawnmowers even though they still aren't strong enough to start a push mower. 

According to sources, there are some who still celebrate something called "Father's Day," although it's unclear what that means since nothing means anything anymore. 

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.