If you want to relate to millennials, you have to communicate everything in Harry Potter metaphors, whether it's politics or theology or everyday life. That's why it's important to read these books. It's a ministry. But we can have a bit of fun while we're at it. Take our exciting, official Babylon Bee quiz to find out which Hogwarts house you would be in. Have fun!
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Michael Simmons' doctor tells him he's obese and needs to lose some weight - but the patient has the perfect comeback: he's pregnant!