GAZA — Members of the media remain unsure of the motivation behind Hamas' violent attacks against Israel, with a reporter on the scene left speculating while Hamas terrorists held up a banner behind her with "EXTERMINATE THE JEWS FROM EXISTENCE" written boldly in all-caps.
"Their motives and goals remain a mystery," the reporter stated as the Hamas terrorist waved the banner in the background. "Are they seeking full Palestinian statehood and sovereignty? Are they hoping to improve the lives of the civilians under their charge? Do they want Taylor Swift tickets? Sadly, we may, in fact, never know what it is they truly want."
As hostilities continue to intensify between Israel and Hamas, along with threats from surrounding Arab countries, the mainstream media has been on a never-ending quest to discover what it is Hamas is after. "We want Israel destroyed and all Jews dead," said one terrorist matter-of-factly. "We are hell-bent on doing whatever we have to do for however long we have to do it to completely eradicate all Jewish people and their memory from the face of the earth."
"Stop being so coy and tell the public what it is you're after," the reporter pressed. "The world deserves to have you be forthright and honest about your motivations here. As an investigative journalist, I'm going to get to the bottom of this."
At publishing time, the reporter was wondering if perhaps there was anything besides the Hamas charter and thousands of public statements by Hamas that could help illuminate their true goals.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.