Merry Christmas, everyone. Gather the kids by the fire and play this original poem so they can remember the true reason for the season: winning the culture war.

'Twas The War On Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas; the battle was waged,
This holiday was not all-inclusive, they raged.
Landmines were buried under piles of snow,
Waiting for orthodox statements of faith; then, they'd blow.
Christian soldiers lay traumatized, half of them dead,
As visions of Starbucks cups flashed in their heads.
On a Satanic banner of blasphemous disgrace,
They took Christ out of Christmas, put an X in his place.
Nativity scenes, now scenes of horror and destruction,
And the ACLU's onslaught of liberal corruption.
They tore down their green and red decorations,
Replaced them with rainbow flags -- Oh, what devastation!
But out of the smoldering wreckage and despair,
Came a marmalade glow with a halo of hair.
Have hope, Chrisitan soldier! Be of good cheer!
They can't take away Christmas; no, not this year.
They can take down the trees, silence our songs,
But there, in the White House, a warrior stands strong.
A president eternal, Trump, stands in their way.
The War on Christmas isn't over -- no, not today!