NEW YORK CITY, NY-The United Nations Security Council held a moment of silence this week to honor the deaths of the hijackers involved in the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
"We honor these fallen men who gave their lives in the service of their god," U.N. representative Chipeta Mumbawe told reporters. "While we recognize the pain they may have caused a few individuals in the West, we celebrate the bravery these hijackers had in spreading their enlightened ideas on such a large global stage."
Members of the U.N. held a somber moment of silence Monday morning to mark the passing of the 19 men who took over commercial airline flights on September 11, 2001. The U.N. released a statement praising the men for their efforts to bring modern Muslim ideals to the repressive, evil West.
"The U.N. heralds all efforts by all people everywhere to do the things they think are best to honor and celebrate their cultures," Mumbawe commented in a statement that made total sense, as all statements from the U.N. do. "It is the right of every hijacker to bring his (or her!) ideas and visions to the West, where we can learn from their progressive and forward-thinking ways."
As of publishing time, the U.N. announced it plans to erect a statue for the fallen hero Sadam Hussein and is currently constructing a memorial fountain to honor progressive icon Che Guevera.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
