Politics
Trump Signs Executive Order To Double Debt Of Journalism Students

WASHINGTON D.C.—There have been suggestions that Joe Biden may use an executive order to cancel student debt, but President Donald Trump has announced he’s going a different direction: He is signing an executive order to double the debt of all journalism students.

“The press is the enemy of the people,” Trump told the press, the enemy of him and other people, “and so they owe a great debt to society. Now, they owe an even greater debt to society, as I’ve doubled the debt they spent learning how to be evil and dumb.”

This move is expected to hit journalism schools especially hard, as journalism was already a fairly useless major, and now it will cost twice as much. The executive order also promises to be a big blow to journalists themselves, as they don’t make a lot of money since a lot of people do their job for free online.

When told that many journalists may not be able to afford the increased debt, Trump unveiled a new plan to make a special debtors' prison just for journalists.

This executive order has already affected many journalists facing the prospect of increased debt. For instance, Brian Stelter, in addition to watching FOX News and telling people on CNN what he saw on FOX News, is now also working a night shift at Taco John’s.

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