CULVER CITY, CA — Dr. Anthony Fauci appeared on the beloved trivia game show Jeopardy! last night, only to invoke the Fifth Amendment in response to every clue.
Host Ken Jennings welcomed Fauci to the stage with enthusiastic applause before reading the first category, "Historic Pandemics."
"Wow! Lucky break for Dr. Fauci to have that category on the board, wouldn't you say?" asked Jennings.
"On the advice of counsel, I respectfully decline to answer based upon my rights under the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution," Fauci replied.
"Erm. Well, okay," said Jennings. "First clue, for $200. Killing an estimated 50 million people worldwide, this disease is named after a country, even though that country wasn't where the disease originated. Yes, Dr. Fauci?"
"On the advice of counsel, I respectfully decline to answer based upon my rights under the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution," said Fauci.
"Um... okay?" responded Jennings. "The correct response was 'What is the Spanish influenza?' Let's just move on to the next clue. For $600, this lentivirus integrates its genetic material into the DNA of host immune cells using the enzyme integrase, allowing it to establish lifelong infection. Buzzing in once again, it's Dr. Fauci. Yes?"
"On the advice of counsel, I respectfully decline to answer based upon my rights under the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution," responded Fauci.
"Dr. Fauci, you know this is a game show, right?" said Jennings. "You don't have to buzz in if you don't want to. You do know you're not under oath right now?"
"On the advice of counsel, I respectfully decline to answer based upon my rights under the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution," responded Fauci.
At publishing time, though it had been confirmed that Fauci had somehow managed to give the correct response for "Final Jeopardy," given the clue "The Supreme Court's decision in Miranda v. Arizona is rooted primarily in the Self-Incrimination Clause of this Constitutional amendment," Fauci steadfastly refused to tell Jennings how much he had wagered, once again pleading the Fifth.
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