Trump Announces He Will Pay $5M Judgment In Collectible NFT Trading Cards
Celebs · May 10, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

MAR-A-LAGO, FL — After a judge ruled Trump liable in the sexual abuse and defamation case brought by E. Jean Carroll, the former President responded by announcing he would pay the $5 million judgment using his collectible NFT trading cards.

"These NFTs, also known as 'non-fungible token' trading cards, which are beautiful and one-of-a-kind collector's items, the likes of which the world has never seen, will be more than enough to cover the 5 million dollars," said Trump proudly. "I shouldn't owe this money anyway, because I never did anything wrong and this is a phony witch hunt."

"I'll tell you what's not phony though: these NFT trading cards. They are one hundred percent real and authentic!"

Sources say Carroll has been offered a Trump cowboy, a Trump superhero, and a special-edition, limited-run picture of Trump wrestling a snake with Nancy Pelosi's face. Trump has appraised the collection as worth well over $5 million.

"These are worth more than the money I owe, but I'm giving them anyways to E. Jean Carroll, who I've never met, out of the goodness of my heart," said Trump. "She knows this is a witch hunt! WITCH HUNT!"

At publishing time, Trump had offered to also pay his legal team in NFTs.


Check out Hasbro's latest update to the classic board game "Guess Who?" - now with more genders, inclusion, and fun!* *Fun not guaranteed

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.