WASHINGTON, D.C. — To avoid further controversy over her unorthodox lines of questioning and uninformed opinions on Supreme Court cases, Chief Justice John Roberts reportedly gave Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson a Magnadoodle to keep her busy during oral arguments.
The Biden-appointed judge had received such strong criticism following a string of questionable statements and opinions recently, leading the chief justice to find some fun activity to keep her occupied while the real judges did their work.
"Bunny! I drew a bunny!" Jackson reportedly shouted at one point during oral arguments, according to a source within the courtroom, after which Chief Justice Roberts allegedly said, "That's very good Ketanji! Remember to use your inside voice and play quietly while we're doing Supreme Court things."
Another witness said that Jackson proceeded to walk around the room, showing her drawing to everyone in attendance while they provided her with affirmation. "She seemed really proud of herself," the witness said. "You could tell she had worked hard on it. She said she was going to draw a house with a doggie sitting outside next. Bless her heart."
A SCOTUS insider said that Roberts had consulted with the other justices to come up with the best way to keep Jackson busy. "There were different ideas — a Slinky, magnetic alphabet letters, and those large Duplo blocks you give kids who might choke on regular Legos," the source said. "Anything to just keep her out of the way."
At publishing time, a recess was called during oral arguments so the justices could charge Jackson's iPad enough to let her watch Peppa Pig videos on YouTube during the afternoon session.
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