Trump Generously Offers To Give Biden 30-Minute Head Start On All Debate Responses

WASHINGTON, D.C.—There has been talk about canceling the Trump-Biden debates, since Biden might have trouble competing with Trump's scathing wit and daunting intellect, or at least might just have trouble stringing together sentences. But Trump, being generous in demeanor and full of grace, has offered to give Biden a full 30-minute head start on all debate responses.

The president made the offer at a press conference this morning.

"We want this to be a fair fight," he said. "Biden can go ahead and take an extra thirty minutes. Heck, he could take an extra hour. I'm very tough to debate against, very tough. I talk circles around people. Literal circles. It's really remarkable. And by the way, talking circles, that was my phrase. I made that up. It's one of mine."

"Anyway, we want Sleepy Joe to be able to get at least one thought out, so it's only fair."

The Biden campaign says the debate would still be unfair, since it's unlikely that Biden could stand up and talk coherently for the full thirty minutes that Trump is offering him anyway.

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