NASHVILLE, TN - While many on the left have taken a strong, anti-statue position, blaming statues for inequality and a number of unsolved murders, presidential candidate Joe Biden has taken a much softer stance and is often seen talking to statues. Controversy erupted, though, when Biden was spotted sniffing the sculpted hair of a Confederate statue.

"The Confederacy is all about racism and slavery," said a left-wing activist. "It's like Biden was curious what slavery smelled like."

Biden was unapologetic. "I just saw someone and thought I'd come up behind and take a sniff. I didn't know it was Nathan Bedford Forrest. It doesn't matter, though. People are just getting worked up over nothing. We have too much division. We need multiplication. I think I saw a goat laughing at me."

Biden says he is for taking down Confederate statues, though he says it "should be done peacefully" and maybe they should leave alone "the really attractive ones."