U.S.
Tragedy: Texas Man So Focused On Staying Warm He Has Forgotten The Alamo

AUSTIN, TX—There are a few key attributes that define being a Texan: firing guns, yelling “Yee-Haw!”, and remembering the Alamo. But with the winter storm having overtaken Texas and power out in many places, one local Texan has been so focused on keeping warm he has forgotten the Alamo.

“Oh, I know there is something I’m supposed to remember,” said Lyle Thomas as he huddled under a blanket with his wife, “but I can’t think of what. Too busy shivering.”

His wife, Sue Thomas, immediately grabbed him and started shaking him. “The Alamo! You need to remember the Alamo!”

The Alamo, if forgotten, will lose its power and disappear — much like fairies. Without the power of the Alamo holding Texas together, the state could fall into a hundred years of ruin and end up like a common California.

“Sorry, I just can’t remember it anymore,” said Lyle. “Maybe I’m blocking it out of my mind because it was a winter battle.”

Sue started slapping him. “You have to remember! Remember!”

“I’m trying. Just so cold.”

“Then let’s do the other thing we Texans do to warm up,” Sue suggested. “Fire guns.”

Lyle agreed that snuggling recently fired guns is a great way to stay warm. He took out his revolver, pointed it in the air, and shouted, “Yee...” before suddenly stopping. “Oh wait. How does the rest of that go?”

Sue just wept.

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