CANCUN—A petition calling for all of Congress to permanently join Ted Cruz in Mexico has gained over 138 million signatures overnight, setting a single-day signature record for petition site change.org. Many pundits are calling the petition the first real moment of national unity in decades.
Leaders on both sides of the political aisle were quick to comment on the petition Friday. “This is clearly a stunning rebuke of the Republicans in Congress,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. “The American people have clearly spoken that they want 1000 years of Democratic rule and they want it now!”
Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell had a different take. He noted, “It’s clear to me that the American people want to get rid of the Democrats once and for all. Did we ever see a petition like this when Donald Trump was president? Of course not, because everyone loves us Republicans!”
Petition organizer and staunch libertarian Andy Hough of Houston stressed that his proposal is not about party politics and has more to do with "wanting every last one of these bloodsucking lizard-people gone."
Sources say most in Congress support the measure, as long as they still get to vote for pay raises and Trump impeachments from the beach.