Sure, the calendar may still read "2025," but the 2028 presidential primary season will be here before you know it. While big names like Gavin Newsom, Kamala Harris, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez grab all the headlines, there are other Democratic candidates making waves behind the scenes.
The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of frontrunners for the 2028 Democratic nomination:
Hunter Biden: The perfect heir to the family legacy, only with more F-words and crack.
Kilmar Abrego Garcia: Few candidates have been able to build as much support among the Democratic base as this wife-beating illegal immigrant.
That one bronze statue of the sassy black woman from Times Square: Still smarter than Kamala Harris
Angel Reese: The party could use someone with her track record of beating popular white people.
Volodymyr Zelenskyy: He has valuable experience in running a country and costing American taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars.
Luigi Mangione: Insiders say he would be a killer candidate.
Stephen Colbert: Word has it his schedule is wide open.
Elmo: The party has a strong history of success when it comes to nominating puppets for president.
Joe Biden's Autopen: It ran the country before, and it can do it again.
The Republicans could be in big trouble against that all-star lineup. Who else could make a run for the Democratic nomination? Add your suggestions in the comments.
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