With the population of California diminishing of late, we at The Babylon Bee are here to help turn the tide. Here are just ten of the many great reasons why you should turn that U-Haul around and head to the Golden State:
Free smoke: Every year, the state burns down entire forests to provide citizens with free smoke. Neat!
Overcome your attachment to material goods: It's easy when the government takes all your income.
Thar's gold in them thar hills!: That's why it's called the Golden State.
Amazing restaurants like the French Laundry: Peasants like you can't eat there, but it's cool knowing it's there.
Incredible high-speed rail system: Coming summer of 2096.
Hobo Steve: He's the nicest hobo you'll ever meet. Aw, Steve.
Rice-a-roni, the San Francisco treat: Mm-mm. Delicious.
Kids be learning how to talk that good English: No other school system in the country be teaching kids like this.
Thousands of hospices to choose from: All within a one-mile radius. Incredible.
Beautiful views of the stars during grid blackouts: Unless there's the free smoke.
What more could you want? Pack your bags and head out west, folks.
The Babylon Bee finally exposes everything about the Jews in this documentary of hard-hitting investigative journalism.
