Teenage Cashier Desperately Hoping Middle-Aged Man Will Start Up Small Talk With Her

Life · Aug 8, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Teenage Cashier Desperately Hoping Middle-Aged Man Will Start Up Small Talk With Her

ROANOKE, VA — Upon seeing a middle-aged man join her line, local 16-year-old grocery cashier Mandy Banks began desperately hoping that he would try to start up small talk with her.

"Oh please, don't just pay and leave. Ask me what grade I'm in, tell me about your sciatica, anything," thought Banks as the man moved up in line. "Gosh, I hope the weather comes up, or he wants to know something really personal about my dating life. Fingers crossed."

Banks began to fear the worst after the man, Jim Wallace, initially said only "Hello" and began looking at the card reader. However, hope sprung anew when Wallace began reminiscing aloud about the summer he worked as a cashier at Piggly Wiggly.

"Yes!" thought Banks. "We're in!"

To Banks' delight, Wallace began explaining how even when he was a kid, there were no computers, so being a cashier required a lot of mental math. "So, I had this manager, his name was... oh, what was it? He had dark hair, kind of heavy-set. Drove an orange camaro. Tom! That was it," said Wallace. "Anyhow, so Tom, he would check the register at the end of each day, and he would say 'Boy, if there's so much as a dime missing, I'll tan your hide!' Ha! Good ol' Tom. You know, ten years later, I heard he got arrested for murder. Anyhow. So, you got a date to homecoming yet?"

At publishing time, Banks had wished Wallace a great day, grateful for his promise to always look for her line whenever he came back.


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