EDEN — Having gone an inordinate length of time standing watch in the same place for many, many years, the angel guarding the Garden of Eden with a flaming sword reportedly started wondering if he could move yet.
Having been assigned to guard the entrance to the garden and being given a flaming sword that turned in every direction, the angel was said to have sent word to other cherubim to ask how long he needed to stay there.
"Think it's safe to take off now?" he was said to have asked. "I mean, it's been a long time. I'm not even sure how many years it's been since they got kicked out of here, but it's a long time to stand in one spot. I don't think they're coming back. I mean, they saw the sword. They already screwed up big time with the whole "eating the fruit' incident, so I think they're trying to be more obedient now. Any other humans who have walked by have taken off running as soon as they saw me. So… I think maybe it's OK for me to move. Yeah?"
When asked if he thought there would be any risk in leaving the entrance to the garden unguarded, the angel was optimistic. "I think it'll be alright," he said. "From what I've heard, all the people are too busy living in outright rebellion against God now, except for some Noah guy and his family. I think they're all too busy destroying everything to worry about looking for a way into the garden."
At publishing time, the angel was thankful to hear that God was preparing to flood the Earth and finally had a chance to stretch his legs and take some time off.
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