Top 10 GREATEST Christian Metal Bands Of All Time
Sponsored · May 30, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Brought to you by: Petra 2023 Southeast Summer Tour

Christianity has been producing superior metal since David's imprecatory Psalms. We had our team of experts scour thousands of years of face-melting Jesus music and compile a definitive list of the greatest Christian metal bands of all time.

Here is the definitive ranking:

 

#10

Petra

We'd be remiss if we didn't include one of our favorites here. With classics like "Grave Robber" and "Underneath the Blood", you can't go wrong with Petra.


 

#9

Petra

Yeah, that's right. Bob Hartman on the guitar? Genius. It's a shame we couldn't put them higher on this list.


 

#8

Petra

Oh wait--WE DID.


 

#7

Petra (again)

Just look at Louie Weaver here. The greatest drummer of all time.


 

#6

Petra

By now you may be wondering, are they just going to put Petra in every rank in this list?! There's only one way to find out...


 

#5

Petra

You probably thought we going to pull a switcheroo and honor a different band for #5, but no. That would be unfair to Petra.


 

#4

These guys

That's right--this is Petra.


 

#3

Petra

We couldn't find enough pictures of Petra, so here's a picture of Stryper.


 

#2

Petra

John Schlitt is an absolute legend and we have him to thank for pushing Petra to #2.


 

#1

PETRA

There you have it--the greatest Christian metal band of all time! You could bow to these rock gods, but they would only tell you to stand up and worship the true God.


 

Honorable mentions:

Stryper: Michael Sweet's epic guitar solos and timeless classics like "To Hell With The Devil" are unforgettable, but they ultimately did not make this list due to the fact that they are not Petra, who sponsored this article.

Demon Hunter: Also an amazing metal band, but unfortunately, they are also not Petra.

Skillet: Pros: named after cookware. Cons: not Petra.

P.O.D.: The boys from the south are the real deal, even though they're kinda nu metal. Which isn't as good as, you guessed it, PETRA.

Theocracy: Swedish-influenced power metal that will absolutely shred your soul. Amazing stuff. But upon further investigation, we found, sadly, that they are not Petra.

PETRA: Our final honorable mention just barely didn't make our list. PETRA.


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