LOS ANGELES, CA - In an effort to avoid problematic situations where a character is voiced by an actor who does not look like them, The Simpsons will now only use voice actors who agree to dye their skin yellow permanently.
Long-running voice actors from Yeardley Smith to Dan Castellaneta and dozens more were fired and replaced with method actors who received a custom full-body yellow skin dye treatment.
"We are sorry for all the people we have hurt over the years," said one assistant producer. "We had voice actors who were pretending to be a yellow cartoon family but were really humans. We never intended to erase the existence of people who are covered in yellow body paint and have grotesque proportions. We see now that this was wrong. We are listening, and we will do better."
Activists have pushed for the move for years, with one recently tweeting, "Yellow 👏 characters 👏 should 👏 be 👏 voiced 👏 by 👏 yellow 👏 actors 👏! This isn't difficult, people!"
The new voice actor for Marge Simpson will also have to wear a 3-foot-high blue perm, well, permanently.