NEW YORK, NY — After an order from New York Mayor Eric Adams, the Statue of Liberty has been altered to signify that the city is full of illegal immigrants and cannot take any more. Lady Liberty will now hold a sign redirecting migrants to New Jersey.
"As the good book says, our cup runneth over here in New York," said Adams to reporters. "So basically, God wants us to stop taking in the poor, the tired, and the huddled masses. That's really what Psalm 23 is all about. That's why we want everyone to go to New Jersey. They probably have plenty of room and nobody cares about New Jersey anyway"
"Move along migrants!"
Sources confirmed the change to the famous neoclassical sculpture features a large arrow-shaped sign pointing south with the words "New Jersey That Way." The project will cost the city approximately 38 billion dollars.
At publishing time, New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy was seen commissioning the construction of a large wall around his state emblazoned with the words "Keep Going Till You Reach Texas."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
