HOLLYWOOD, CA — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences released its list of Oscar nominees for 2026, with Sinners being nominated for "Best Movie We Have To Nominate Or Else We Will Be Called Racist."
Sinners, which was heralded by everyone who wanted to avoid being called a racist, tells the story of two characters played by actor Michael B. Jordan, with the two roles expertly distinguished by the actor wearing different-colored hats.
"It's amazing! A tour de force! Please don't call me racist!" said one internet film critic. "I think it should win every single award there is. It's clearly the pinnacle of filmmaking, and I say that as someone who is clearly not a racist."
Though the film proved to be a massive critical and box office success, it did have its share of detractors who pointed out perceived flaws in the plot, dialogue, and thematic elements. Those people, however, were clearly just racists. The people who loved it? Not racists.
"We really liked the way Coogler used cameras to shoot the movie instead of filming it using a potato or something… brilliant!" said Academy member Debbie Wasenberg. "The film was set during a time in the U.S. when people were super racist, so it could be any time period at all because the U.S. has always been racist and is still as racist as it was at any other time. But more so in this film. I'm not a racist, though, as evidenced by how much I love it."
At publishing time, the Academy announced that it decided to skip the ceremony and just go ahead and give Sinners all the awards it was nominated for, an act that was praised by the filmmaking community as "brave" and "not racist."
Minnesota is the place to be!
