Politics
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Quietly Replaced With Cardboard Cutout

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amid the coronavirus pandemic, many institutions are getting creative when it comes to bringing people together despite everyone having to stay apart. Sports teams have begun using virtual audiences or cardboard cutouts to simulate a real, live audience sitting there watching a game.

This gave Democrats an idea. They replaced Ruth Bader Ginsburg with a cardboard cutout several weeks ago for reasons unknown, and no one has been the wiser.

"No one has noticed so far," said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. "We're hoping to keep Ruth 'Paper' Ginsburg, as we affectionately refer to her, on the Supreme Court bench until a Democrat is elected president." According to Pelosi, Ginsburg is doing fine and is resting comfortably and no one should worry about her, and Trump definitely doesn't need to replace her.

As an added benefit, the cardboard version of Ginsburg hasn't arrived at nearly as many terrible constitutional interpretations as the real version has over the years.

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